Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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