This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
