He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
