; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
