Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
