My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
