Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
