I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
