sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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