Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
