You really coming over, don't trick.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
