Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
