Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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