It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Are these your boobs on my camera?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
