Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
