Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
