if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
