Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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