I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're making bets on your personal life
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize