I cut my penus on the lid.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
