he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
