he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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