He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize