i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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