i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
