He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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