You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
