You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
