I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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