Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
