Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Randomize
