i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
