How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
