Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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