I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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