if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
