Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Randomize
