My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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