I think I just saw someone hide a body.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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