You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
