Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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