First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize