god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
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Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
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Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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