you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
