I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
