hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
