If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
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I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
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I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
do nipples grow back?
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