I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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