It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
