the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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