i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
