How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
now i know why i became what i already was.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize