it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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