Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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