based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
