they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
