All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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