Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
