Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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