walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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