who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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