At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
